I am sitting in my basement typing as I feel myself about to die. I have this terrible sense of impending doom that I can not shake. Tomorrow I am flying out to the West Coast. I'm not afraid to fly, I've done it hundreds of times.

I think it has to do with finances. I am spending money like crazy on my home improvement that is already 15K over budget. I was 5k short to begin with so that isn't good.

I also have my daughter's 13 birthday party to pay for. A mere 20 to 25K due within a year. That, plus one of my inane bosses (actually my real bosses wife) is on a rampage. She really is an idiot. She thinks she knows what she is doing, but screws up more than anyone else and then points fingers. She is really lucky she is married to a guy that can give her a job.

My own wife earns more than I do, which is great. She knows her job and deserves every cent she earns. Not like the lunatic I need to work for.

I started putting feelers out for another job. That's how bad it is. And, it's the only thing I really don't like about the job.

I will miss my kids while away. I hope my feeling is wrong, they need me. I still have to finish that life insurance application. Damn! another thing I have to do that I haven't had time for.

I am overwhelmed. I just feel like I can't take it. I hope tomorrow brings me some peace.