Just a short thought today. Recently several people have reappeared in my life from 15 to 20 years ago. Two old friends and an old business partner. They all disappeared from my life at around the same time. I was going through a very tough time emotionally. I was severley depressed, I sought help but the Psychiatrist turned out to be unethical. She first put me on medication that was overprescribed. When I complained her reaction was that I would get used to it. Instead, I started to self medicate to counter the effects, which of course didn't do any good for my depression. I was honest with the shrink but despite this, she abruptly dropped me when I missed an appointment. Not only did she decide to not see me, but she always made sure I didn't have any extra medication. So when she dropped me after missing an appointment, which I paid for allways, she would not refill the prescriptions. The problem was that the labels stated that it should not be abruptly stopped, which I reminded her of. It didn't matter to her and I became quite sick. Eventually I found a better doctor, worked to climb out of the depression and I picked up the pieces.
Friends were not so important to me then. I had more important issues like staying alive. Recently I spoke with these three people. It was nice. I actually told one of them how my feelings were hurt by his not wanting to continue our friendship. 15 years later I got an apology. I am proud of myself that I was not angry or confrontative in my discussion, only honest about my feelings. My old business partner did not have much to say. It seemed that he was going to treat me as a new round of friend, being wary but giving me the benefit of the doubt. As I am honest, clear headed, and fairly normal today, so far this has worked out well. Eventually I hope to sit down with him and review old feelings just to clear the air. But so far, it seems that if I don't try to control any of these situationsand just let it be, things will work out well. It's almost like "deja vu all over again" to quote one of my favority sports figures.
Speak with you later. Be at peace. The feeling is often contagious.

Wow! it's been a long time since I posted here. I like the feedback so if you like what you read, please let me know. If you don't like it, please also let me know, I can take it.

I have been in my new job for almost 10 months and it still feels new much of the time. I like what I do and I seem to be respected, which is more than most can say. Of course it isn't Paradise and I get really frustrated when executive management sticks their nose in my business. But I don't get nasty or rude, and I make it a wee bit uncomfortable for them. This way they will think twice before "adjusting" the way I run my department or my schedule.

I have taken the engineering department here and made it fully three times as efficient while increasing the quality of work to the point where consultants are praising our work. Clients have remarked that our drawing packs are the best they have seen, by far.

But, nothing is perfect, there are personality conflicts here just like anywhere else. I actually may take a vacation this year. For the first time in maybe 25 years, I can take time off and get paid while I do. I have almost 2 weeks of time I can take now. I guess I am feeling grateful today. Not a bad feeling. I hope it lasts but I know "this too shall pass"

More later. Thanks,

I have always believed that in the random order of the universe there is some force that drives the destiny of people. There are too many coincidences in peoples lives to think otherwise. People are predestined for specific things. Not everything, and most people fight their destiny. But the things that are important such as mates and professions and family... much of this is destiny. You just have to let it happen and it will.
There was a time in my life when I was very lonely and really wanting a wife and family. At that stage of my life I was also changing careers and recovering from a deep depression. Not the best time for starting a family or even a new relationship. Yet I wanted it so badly I physically ached. Speaking with someone I knew and respected, this person told me "God's not through with her yet". That seemed to strike home. It was the first time anyone took me out of the equation by telling me things I already knew. Like I am too messed up for a relationship, or that I need to straighten my own life out first. No, this person told me that my future mate wasn't ready for me yet, and I accepted that. For whatever reason, I was able to chill out after and go through my daily life without trying to start a new relationship with every woman I met. I started to become more at peace with myself and with my life. Slowly I managed to piece myself together and really improve myself in every way.
About a year after that talk, I met a woman who became attracted to me even more than I was attracted to her. This was a woman who a year ago I wouldn't dream would have any interest in me. I improved and I became attractive to women who were of a higher caliber than I was able to meet one year before. We eventually married and had two beautiful girls. I am still married today. A very lucky man. Lucky because I was able to listen and hear the advice of someone who said to let go and just be at peace with who I am for now. In other words, I allowed destiny to take its course.
When we allow destiny to take its course, we allow the natural order of things to fall into place. We are at peace with ourselves. At the risk of sounding corny, yes at peace with the natural order of the universe and with God's will. (I can't believe I am writing this, it sounds so unlike me). But, it's true.
Just as we allow our destiny to become fulfilled when we follow and practice our God given talents. I have my own views on talent, which I wrote about earlier. But I do believe that we all have been given some special talent. And it is our responsibility to use that talent in the course of our work, where we spend most of our waking time. To not do so is a waste of our resources, and a waste of the reason why each of us are put on this planet.
I love my work. I may not have loved all of my employers or jobs, but I have always loved what I do for a living. In fact, if I didn't earn a living from it, it would be a hobby. Somebody famous once wrote " Enjoy what you do for a living and you will never work a day in your life" It may have been Ben Franklin, but no matter.. another truism.
I recently changed jobs to one that better suits my skill set. I am a director, but still have a heavy hand in the production for my department. I am in a teaching position as well as leading by example, and taking a heavy hand in the direction of the firm I work for. I like my job, love my work, and as a real bonus, they really like me as an employee. This is a position that appreciates my skills, unlike that last job I had. My last job was at a huge firm, very impersonal, where they frowned on creativity. Interesting because an engineer is supposed to be creative, unless he is a lower level engineer doing nothing but calculations. I was shriveling up in that firm.
I feel as if I just got out of jail and I am free. Again, following my destiny if only in the way I landed this job.
I put in the effort by posting my resume and continuing to do as good a job as I could at the old place. Someone saw my resume as a perfect fit, called me, called some prior employers from my resume and started the process. I showed up, went to the interviews, answered the questions, went along with the process, and it just fell into place. Destiny fulfilled. At least that's the way it feels today. Things may change, and I know what to do if things do change. But for today I am at peace with myself, and I consider myself to be one lucky person. Just by going along with the flow and letting my destiny happen.

I have always had an almost unique way at looking at the world. I see things a bit differently than most, and as a result often have viewpoints that are a bit out of the box. This has aided me in being inventive and good at problem solving.

I look at talent as a form of intelligence. Picture a cake with icing on it. Usually, icing is applied smoothly and evenly over the entire cake, with some small ridges and bumps for decoration. Each one is unique in the way the icing is distributed, just like snowflakes.

Intelligence is similar. Each person has a measurable amount of intelligence that we call an IQ. But we don't know how to measure the specific concentrations of intelligence in various areas. If you think about cakes and icing, it's like we know how much icing is used in total, but not for any given spot.

Now look at the so called "idiot savant". This is a person who can perform math or some other talent far in excess of the capacity of most people. Yet, they can't even take care of themselves because all of their intelligence is dropped in one spot. Almost like a dollop of icing on a part of a cake. Someone forgot to smooth it out over the rest of the cake.

One day, science will develop a method of measuring the amount of intelligence in any one area. It could be conceptualizing, hand eye coordination, math, science, the ability to memorize notes or foreign languages, whatever we may look at as a talent.

I can not draw to save my life. Yet some people can create beautiful drawings without thinking. If you have ever watched an artist at work, often the final product can't be guessed at until most of the drawing is done. Lines appear to be haphazard in the drawing until it comes together. Yet the artist had the plan in his or her mind all along. That is a talent. Or, is it a concentration of intelligence or synapses that fire all at once in a very specific area of the brain? When we can measure IQ in specific areas, maybe we will know for sure.

I have a few friends that think I am a genius. Now, I am no genius, but I have an above average IQ. Maybe I am a genius in that one area, as many people have talent in a specific area. I am creative as applied to inventions, electronics and new ideas. Nothing more than a talent in this area. Yet, if there were a specific test for IQ in this area, maybe I would be off the charts. Other areas, like foreign language, I would come up way short. No genius there!

Anyhow, that's my thought for today. Anyone have an opinion?

The first image that comes to mind is a steamy love affair. But that's not what this is about. Passion can be found at many levels, even in the work you do every day.

My manager came over to me one day to discuss an email I sent and copied him on. I was pretty harsh, even scolding in my tone. It was about a report that this person was supposed to complete. He didn't do it and tried to have me do his work for him. And, it was two weeks late.

My manager started the conversation by saying "I know you're passionate about your work..." At first I thought that was an odd thing to say. Then I realized that I am passionate about my work. I like things done properly the first time. And, I also don't like people who are lazy or otherwise can not do their assigned work. I'm not a manager, but I still have a heavy hand in the work production and project completion.

The question is, is this good or bad? Can someone care too much about the success of a project? Is it a bad thing to be emotional about work? Or, is this a necessary component of concern, pride, or professionalism?

I don't think it's bad. Of course, there are limits and everything boils down to how much. I disagreed with my boss's assessment, and told him. I didn't disagree with his first statement that I am passionate about my work. But I do believe that I had every right to send that email. In fact, without peer pressure and a team spirit to self monitor any project, the success of that project is highly doubtful.

Anyhow, that's my opinion. And that was one day in the life of ...